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CD #1{40}{160}Downloaded From www.MySubtitles.com
{62}{147}"It seems today that all you see
{150}{232}"Is violence in movies and sex on TV
{235}{322}"But where are those|good old-fashioned values
{325}{375}"On which we used to rely?
{392}{470}"Lucky there's a family guy
{472}{595}"Lucky there's a man who positively|can do all the things that make us
{595}{630}"Laugh and cry
{632}{760}"He's a family guy
{942}{997}Oh, my, this place is enormous.
{1000}{1122}They got these plastic disc guns.|I haven't seen one since Cleveland's wedding.
{1125}{1195}Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today
{1197}{1265}to celebrate the joining|of these two people...
{1267}{1370}- (Peter giggles)|...in the bonds of holy matrimony,
{1372}{1447}- consecrated before God Almighty.|- (Peter giggles)
{1460}{1530}Hey, Stratego. I used to love this game.
{1530}{1585}Oh, my God. Abe Vigoda?
{1585}{1670}Go bother Steve Guttenberg.|He's behind the Chinese chequers.
{1670}{1705}Abe, shut up!
{1752}{1827}(" swing music)
{1842}{1952}Look at me, Chris. I'm Yanni sans the attitude.
{1970}{2027}My God, that's amazing.
{2030}{2090}- You are so talented.|- Huh?
{2092}{2167}Wait a second. Something's not right here.
{2170}{2272}You were just making it look like|you were playing. You're a phony!
{2275}{2370}- Hey! This guy's a great big phony!|- Come on, Chris.
{2435}{2475}- Agh!|- There you are.
{2477}{2545}Hey, you're a great big phony,|you know that?
{2545}{2602}Your mom and I have something for you.
{2605}{2672}Let me guess. Another|colourful box with a crank
{2675}{2762}that I'm expected to turn until -|big shock - a jack pops out.
{2765}{2895}And you laugh and the kids laugh and|the dog laughs and I die a little inside.
{2897}{2965}- (gasps)|- Surprise, honey.
{2967}{3017}A trikey!
{3030}{3055}I think he likes it.
{3057}{3170}When I stick this army guy with the sharp|bayonet up my nose, it tickles my brain.
{3172}{3282}(laughs) Ow! Oh. Now I don't know math.
{3312}{3410}- Give it to me now, dammit!|- Not now, Stewie. When we get home.
{3410}{3520}That's right. You're a big fat phony!
{3562}{3682}What I'm about to show you is a fight scene|from Star Trek, season one, episode 18.
{3685}{3807}I'm going to identify when it's Shatner and|when it's his stunt double, Fred Lubbins.
{3810}{3835}Let's watch.
{3837}{3930}That's Shatner. That's Lubbins.|That's Shatner. That's Lubbins.
{3930}{3977}That's Shatner. That's Lubbins.
{3980}{4100}That's Shatner, but when I freeze-frame,|you can clearly see Lubbins' coffee cup.
{4102}{4175}- He is the biggest dork on the planet.|- Totally.
{4175}{4255}And so, because of his|rough-and-tumble style of command,
{4255}{4360}Captain Kirk is clearly superior|to Jean-Luc Picard.
{4360}{4470}- Any questions? Meg?|- No. Leave me alone.
{4470}{4542}Thank you, Neil,|for that irrelevant presentation.
{4545}{4642}We all know Captain Picard|is the superior officer.
{4747}{4840}- Ugh!|- Mr Lassenbee's getting arrested.
{4842}{4917}(students gasping/murmuring)
{4920}{5025}What in God's name...? Mr Lassenbee,|what the hell's going on here?
{5025}{5105}There's a law against teaching|the evolutionary theory
{5107}{5212}that Gil Gerard used a time machine|and ejaculated into the primordial ooze.
{5215}{5267}This stupid country.
{5270}{5375}Tom Tucker, live at James Woods High|School with this sensational breaking story.
{5377}{5495}A teacher caught molesting children...|with crackpot theories. Full story at 11.
{5495}{5520}(man) And out.
{5522}{5595}(gasps) Oh, my God!|That's Tom Tucker from the news.
{5595}{5722}Hey, kids. Remember, Mr T says|"I pity the fool who does drugs."
{5725}{5780}(" romantic music)
{5930}{6007}- Better hurry up, Mr Tucker.|- I'm coming.
{6290}{6372}Reports indicate she has consumed|a record amount of seamen.
{6375}{6427}Sounds like one powerful hurricane.
{6430}{6535}In other news, school board elections|took place last evening.
{6535}{6640}Fred Johnson leads For more click on this link
