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CD #1{40}{160}Downloaded From www.MySubtitles.com
{62}{154}"It seems today that all you see
{157}{237}"Is violence in movies and sex on TV
{237}{324}"But where are those|good old-fashioned values
{327}{399}"On which we used to rely?
{402}{477}"Lucky there's a family guy
{479}{594}"Lucky there's a man who positively|can do all the things that make us
{597}{637}"Laugh and cry
{639}{762}"He's a family guy
{882}{969}- Hi, Chris.|- (gasps and grunts) Hi, Barbara.
{972}{1049}I'm having a birthday party.|I was hoping you could come.
{1052}{1129}Oh, no! Someone peed in my pants!
{1162}{1234}You're funny. Well, I hope you can make it.
{1284}{1347}Your friend's party sounds like fun, Chris.
{1349}{1432}But I hope the cake's better|than the last party I went to.
{1457}{1492}(screams)
{1494}{1557}Oh, God. Coconut.
{1557}{1677}I wanna get Barbara a really nice gift. What|kind of gifts have boys gotten for you, Meg?
{1679}{1714}Oh... well...
{1717}{1799}My boyfriend Prince William|got me this beautiful watch.
{1802}{1879}And this diamond tiara.|And this wonderful sceptre.
{1882}{1952}(laughs wildly)
{1954}{2022}(wails)
{2024}{2099}She needs to get laid, big-time.
{2102}{2192}I read a book saying women are from Venus,|so here's what you get her.
{2194}{2259}Layers of sulphuric acid,|viscous surface rock,
{2262}{2369}and coronae, which seem to be domes over|large magma chambers. Here's five dollars.
{2372}{2504}That's OK, Dad. I was thinking about getting|a paper route so I could buy her gift myself.
{2507}{2564}I think that's very sweet, honey.
{2567}{2652}Oh, boy. I remember my first job.|I was in a folk music trio.
{2654}{2724}Hey, how about|"Here's To You, Mrs Fleckenstein"?
{2727}{2807}You've been pitching that for an hour.|It's not an attractive name.
{2809}{2839}Oh, fine.
{2842}{2889}I suppose we're also not going with
{2892}{2972}"Parsley, Sage,|Rosemary and Lawry's Seasoning Salt".
{2974}{3012}That's it. I'm going to Nam.
{3127}{3222}Hey, there, young fella.|Bringin' me good news today?
{3224}{3279}- What?|- Come on over here, son.
{3282}{3349}Hand me the paper,|so I don't need to use my grabber.
{3352}{3387}Mm.
{3389}{3477}- That's a nice muscly throwin' arm you got.|- Uh, thanks.
{3479}{3579}Got a nice tip for you right here|in my pocket, but my arthritis...
{3582}{3649}Why don't you reach in|and fish it out for yourself?
{3652}{3737}That's OK, mister.|I don't collect till the end of the month.
{3739}{3799}I'll see you tomorrow. (mutters) Weird.
{3807}{3859}(disco music)
{3884}{3997}- I hope you like it.|- Wow, perfume. That is so sweet.
{3999}{4127}It'll make you smell like Elizabeth Taylor. So|I guess you'll smell of bourbon and Vicodin.
{4127}{4194}- That's very thoughtful.|- Can I spray some on you?
{4197}{4259}- Ow! My eyes!|- They're beautiful.
{4262}{4324}Just get away from me, Chris!
{4327}{4399}I'm so awkward!
{4469}{4542}Hey, muscly-arm. Why the long face?
{4544}{4679}It's this girl. I can't talk to her. It's like|girls are a different species or somethin'.
{4682}{4782}- Aw, who needs 'em? You like Popsicles?|- Well, sure.
{4784}{4934}Then you need to come on down to the cellar.|I got a whole freezer full of Popsicles. Mm.
{4937}{4992}No, thanks. I gotta get goin'.
{4994}{5052}- Don't make me beg, now.|- (laughs)
{5054}{5129}You're funny. Bye.
{5132}{5182}Get your fat ass back here.
{5307}{5402}- This is a hold-up. Open the register.|- It only opens when you make a sale.
{5404}{5509}All right, then give me one of them|horoscope scrolls and some Skittles.
{5512}{5602}"Financial transaction|benefits you today." Oooh!
{5604}{5657}Weird!
{5717}{5742}(siren)
{5807}{5877}All right! A bike! I'm outta here.
{5989}{6137}Your parents are on their way, but since time|is a factor here we'd like to get an ID quickly.
{6172}{6272}- Are you sure he can't see me?|- Absolutely, Chris. You're 100% safe.
{6274}{6337}OK. That's him. Number six.
{6337}{6439}Hi. Excuse me, you For more click on this link
