CD #11
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[Clock ticking]
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[Alarm clock ringing]
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[Banging on door]
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[All screaming]
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WOMAN: I want something that says,
"I'm sorry he's dead...
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"but not that sorry.
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"He was just a dog and you shouldn't
have loved him more than me."
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Can you do me a bunch that says that?
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Rachel, darling,
tell your father he can't wear that suit.
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RACHEL: He looks nice.
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You look nice.
Thank you, poppet.
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Seen better-dressed crab.
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H: I have a question.
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TESSA: Oh, God, will somebody please put
a gag on my daughter?
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Why is the alphabet in that order?
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Nobody knows, nobody cares. So, for once
in your little life, would you just....
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What do you think?
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-Holy wow.
-Oh, darling.
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You look like a meringue.
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Good.
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-You're late.
-Balls.
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-What's the job?
-Wedding.
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-You always pull.
-One of us has to.
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-Nice couple?
-Haven't met them.
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-All about the mother.
-lsn't it always?
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-Come out with me afterwards.
-Sure.
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-You will?
-Absolutely.
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-Oh, cool. Well, we'll go together.
-I'll meet you there.
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-You're not coming.
-My favorite advert's on TV.
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-You need a love life.
-I have a "like" life. It suits me fine.
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No, I feel good, actually, bizarrely good.
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Yeah, yeah, no nerves at all.
None whatsoever. Thanks.
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-Thank you very much. Thank you.
-Hi.
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-Hi.
-You're Hector, right, the groom?
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Yeah, yeah, I am. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Call me Heck.
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-Well, I did your flowers.
-Oh, did you?
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Oh, well, they're fabulous.
Aren't they, Coop?
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Fabulous, yeah. Although, I wouldn't know
a nice flower from a poke in the eye.
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But they're fabulous, aren't they, Coop?
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[Luce chuckles]
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So, Ned, how long
have you guys been married, then?
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Thirty years.
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If I'd killed her when I first thought
about it, I'd be out by now.
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A free man.
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I remember all the way to the church
I just wanted to shout...
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"Stop the car! This is a horrible mistake."
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But you can't, can you?
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So, you just sit there, say nothing...
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as the wheels keep turning,
leading you on to the longest sentence--
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Stop the car! I forgot to pee.
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All right, panic over.
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They're here now.
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